How heavy are gorillas

More musicals should end with a megamix. Photo-Illustration: by Vulture; Photo by Really Useful Films There is only one way for any musical to possibly begin: the sounds of an orchestra tuning to A, backed by the crinkles of the crowd unwrapping their Werther’s. From this place of reliable uniformity, there are any number of possible directions a musical can go, from commercial to experimental, from horny cowboys , to horny newsboys , to horny convicts in a Jazz Age women’s prison . And because Broadway is as a diverse art form as any — because there is an endless (pun acknowledged) variety of “I Want” songs and 11 o’ clock numbers and love ballads — composers and playwrights assumed they could just go ahead and end a musical any old kooky way too. But that is incorrect. Not to sound too much like some sort of scoldy Henry Higgins, but what I’ve come to realize is that there are only two acceptable ways for any musical to end. Comic or tragic, mainstream or weird, old or new, there are a ton of musicals that fall into the format of the Only Two Good Possible Ending Types. They cover the spectrum of human emotion and energy. Sometimes they encompass a reprise or encore, although they don’t have to. You might find that your favorite musical’s ending does not qualify as acceptable. The Sound of Music , for example, does not fit into either category. Its ending is therefore bad, even though it features the objectively Good Thing of its protagonists escaping literal Nazis. Les Misérables , as well, does not meet the Good Ending criteria; apologies to that ghost chorus. Since Broadway isn’t opening any time soon, I expect producers to take notes on this and adjust their shows accordingly, so that they can end in the only ways that matter: We’ve Come Full Circle Back to the Beginning But Now It’s Really Poignant As Hilary Duff once said, “Let’s go back, back to the beginning, back to when the earth, the sun, the stars all aligned.” Many musicals … [Read more...] about There Are Only Two Types of Musical Endings That Matter

HoodCelebrityy Photo: Rick Kern/WireImage In the cultural spaces from which dancehall music gets its name, women are usually the center of attention. The Jamaican genre’s digital rhythms are calibrated to inspire female bodies to wine , as the vigorous gyration of the waist is known across the Caribbean, and the lyrics to gyal tunes like Tony Matterhorn’s “Dutty Wine” and Mr. Vegas’s “Bruk It Down” echo this connection, calling out ladies-only instructions. The living embodiment of this culture, as seen through the years in music videos from Chaka Demus & Pliers’ “Murder She Wrote” to Rihanna’s “Work,” are the so-called dancehall queens: acrobatic dancers in go-go boots, fishnets, and “batty rider” shorts who run the floor at Kingston street parties and diaspora nightclubs with splits, head-top plants, and other feats of flexibility. Yet dancehall, the music genre, has long minimized female voices, relegating women artists to a peripheral role. This, finally, is changing. In Jamaica, where the current generation of male dancehall acts have struggled to replicate the crossover appeal of aughts icon Sean Paul, or the cult status of the currently jailed but still hugely popular and influential Vybz Kartel , women like Spice, Shenseea and Ishawna are keeping the genre fresh, provocative and relatable. “Females are definitely taking over this male-dominated business,” says Grace Hamilton, better known as Spice, the brash, blue-wigged diva behind bashment party essentials like 2014’s “So Mi Like It” and a new addition to the cast of VH1’s Love & Hip-Hop: Atlanta . (She’s recently taken up part-time residence in Georgia, while maintaining her home, and presence, in Jamaica). “Back in the days, you only had one female that was reigning. But it’s not like that now. If you called Jamaica and [asked] who are the top artists right now, I’m sure my name has to come up. And a lot of other females, who are doing extremely well.” Kingston isn’t … [Read more...] about Women Are Keeping Dancehall Fresh